It's treacherous country sometimes when you mess with the Missus

The Ragged Edge

Did you ever hear the tale of ol’Clementine
How she slipped and fell into the foamy brine,

Ain’t saying there’s a likeness, but it does bring to mind,
An incident that that happened to this wife of mine,

Light she ain’t quite, like the fairy, and her shoes ain’t number nine,
But it’s true even wearing the boxes, she still looks mighty fine,

Whew! Did I get outta that one, almost made me said and done,
Risky poetry don’t you reckon , ol’ Saint Peter still might beckon,

Trippin on the ragged edge, but only wounded some,
Crippled up and bruised, with probably more to come,

She was buying shoes! , I can’t imagine that,
I couldn’t see too good, from where I was at,

A lotta other ladies, trying to fit themselves,
She grabbed herself a couple, from the lower shelves,

Jeeze! they were long ones, looked like small canoes,
I had to get a closer look , Are these things really shoes?

I couldn’t help but ask her Are there any sporting stores ?
Cause if you’re gonna wear’em , you’ll need a set of oars,

No she didn’t hit me, but with sweet endearment sorta,
She said, Hon you’re forgettin, that I walk on water,

The ladies all were busting up, they all got her point,
Me I wasn’t laughing , time to leave that joint,

Somewhere there's relief ,there’s gonna have to be,
Cause she’s gotta plan, to get even with me,

With Pins and Needles now don’t you see,
My wife’s gotta doll that looks like me!,

Copyright © 2017 tom leftwich