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I Missed It

Memories are the greatest when all you can do is sit
I think of one of my narrow escapes and somehow I missed it

I used to be handsome and fair enough for that movie star bit,
But age and ugly got to me and it seems I really missed it,

Said her man had ditched her, I was an Usher at the Carlton Ritz
She left a note with a so called friend, he really was, I missed it,

She phoned, to catch the nine o’clock , she’d leave the porch light lit
The street car ran sometime at eight , another close, I missed it

That deer hunt was really great , I shot and thought I got a hit
It was the farmer’s angus bull; but Thank God, I missed it!

They were drafting for the Army; thought they had me in their mitts,
But I was busy playing Pin Ball and thankfully I missed it,

The worst thing though that I recall was one I can’t forgit,
We were war time flying and this tale I really should omit ,
The flight was long, but the relief tube wasn’t and somehow I missed it

The Honey pots in Japan’s farm land were full when storming hit,
In the rain and fog a walkin Blind! But Thank God I missed it!

I shoulda been rich ,But horse racing luck blew my chance to bits,
My horse was fast but came in last, that big payoff, I missed it,

I was gambling and this slot in Vegas really gave me fits,
I lost two hundred in that Pokey , You’re damned straight!, I missed it!

Final:
Age has captured some reflexes and a lot of my charming wit,
But dear the bath room light went out, and that’s how come I missed it.