This fancy lawyer went duck hunting, near an ol’farmer’s Farm.
Yes the ducks flew there but shooting one ; There should be no harm,
He shot a bird, but it came down over on the Farmer’s land,
With no concern he climbed the fence, grabbed the duck and ran,
The Farmer caught him at the fence; claimed the duck belonged , to him
The Lawyer couldn’t believe , this ol’farmer had the nerve to make a claim, so slim,
Wait a minute said the lawyer, this is too insane,
I fired the shot that downed the duck, the ownership is plain,
I’ll sue you blind you ol’fool and even your Farm I’ll take
I’m the best lawyer in the county , I’ll get every dime you make,
The old farmer smiled , “We settle small affairs without court abuse
" Are you familiar with the Three Kick Rule" that’s the one we use,”
At the lawyers question, the ol’ farmer then replied,
Disputes like this, we’ve settled every time I tried,
“You see, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three ,
We go , like this back and forth until someone cops a plea."
The lawyer quickly agreed, this ol’Farmer needed to show a little respect ,
His gym workouts would let him do what this ol’codger couldn’t expect,
The feeble ol’farmer slowly walked to the lawyer and fired a big boot to his middle,
Collapsing in pain, the farmer kicked him again . He didn’t hold back a little,
His third hit slammed the County’s best man to the ground,
The lawyer took a deep breath, then slowly his strength came around,
Saying, “Now it’s my turn!” he jumped up strong from all fours,
The ol’farmer smiled , ‘’No I give up! The dead duck in question is yours!”
We had a trespasser on our place once. there were no animals in the pasture at the time so the electric fence was off.. after I noticed him in there, I turned it back on. Never saw him in there again.
When I shot a duck with my shotgun and, watching it from the bridge floating by my younger cousin popped it with his 22. When I asked him why he did that, he said, "That's my duck!"
I had to give up that duck, you see, because my cousin had a much stronger argument than the ol' farmer. All he had to say was, "If you don't give me that duck I'll tell my father that you shot me in the head!" Since I actually had done that and feared my father more than my uncle, I gave them the duck.
From your poem, I would say that that farmer was shiftier than most lawyers ever will be.
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The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes.
Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over.
Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets
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Liked your story.
I had to give up that duck, you see, because my cousin had a much stronger argument than the ol' farmer. All he had to say was, "If you don't give me that duck I'll tell my father that you shot me in the head!" Since I actually had done that and feared my father more than my uncle, I gave them the duck.
From your poem, I would say that that farmer was shiftier than most lawyers ever will be.
Ron
Love ya!
Jane