A diet begins with "D" which stands for DON"T EAT! An old story for lots of folks.

Bathroom Scales

Hey there Mister Macho , how much do you weigh?
Suckin in that belly won’t help anyway,

All that beer that you been drinkin has all settled in your middle
And suckin in that big ol’gut will change so very little ,

I wish that you could see yourself, but that mirror’s way too small,
And my camera’s not wide angle, so it won’t help at all,

It’s good that you are finally worried about the picture that you make,
But it’s like I told you, your picture I can’t take,

So tell me now, be honest, what do ,the numbers state,
And don’t you be a cheatin, cause I know you’re overweight,

His reply was angry as he tried to suck some more,
“ Damnit Woman ! forget the scales, I can’t even see the floor !!”