Hope you enjoy a little crazy stuff. I think I may need an adjustment Gotta laugh at something.

Bear Sign Pickin

The Ranger said ,Miss Blondie are you afraid of bears?
Here in this park we provide for all their needs and cares,

There is an offal problem we have to address,
Blonde said,I agree, an awful problem is a mess,

Ranger sighed and shook his head again in sad despair,
Just what he needed, another reason, to pull out all his hair,

Would he ever get a worker with more than a ten IQ,
Someone surely hated him, his luck was overdue.

Said, look, I don’t want you to think I’m being rude,
We refer to offal as bear sign, other names are crude,

In early west you understand that’s how doughnuts got the name,
There was no real comparison, but they looked the same,

I need a helper in removing all the bear sign from the park.
The boars are prone to leaving their sign as a ranging mark,

We furnish you a pickup truck with lots of cleaning rags,
There’s nothing wrong with picking up the sign in heavy bags,

You’ll be surprised how much bear sign there is here in the park,
We have a sloth of fifty that really load the place at dark,

But you won’t be bothered, they’re mostly all nocturnal,
Too bad we can’t furnish them a toilet and a urinal,

There’d be no need for pooper scoopers, wouldn’t that be great,
With no call for bear sign pickers, the park would celebrate,

I think I’ve covered everything til you walk your way around,
The visitor center and picnic tables will be your stomping ground,

I’m off for my vacation , three weeks you’ll be in charge,
So write me up a brief report. Don’t have to be too large,

The ranger now was horrified when her report he read,
May God Please forgive him, for all the cuss words that he said,

Dear sir, I hate to tell you that I tried your recommendation,
For the many things you wanted and changes to this Station,

Our visitors were angry , loud and some were scared,
The first day that I posted Rest Room Reserved for Bears,

Then I picked up all the bear signs and loaded them in the truck,
Except for those in cement, couldn’t get’em they were stuck,

Guess I ain’t cut out for bear sign pickin, I thought it would be fun ,
I tried to follow orders and see everything was done,

But when you mentioned covering everything when I walk around,
And the visitor center and picnic tables would be my stomping ground,

I only had my tenny shoes , so I bought some boots in town
I really tried ,but sir, I couldn’t, “ Stomp All Them Dough Nuts Down!”

© 2020 Tom Leftwich