A smile or two is all that’s needed to make your day . There's gotta be a little humor in everything.

Attempted Escape

Boss, he’s at it once again escape is on his brain,
That’s ok, he’ll never make it lets finish our game of Mexican train,

God, I can’t believe it , they didn’t see me go,
Dang, I wish these two wheel walkers weren’t so blank-a-ty slow,

Rest homes are for people, that really need their rest,
Not for guys like me , I’m healthier than the Best,

Many are confused, depressed, and swearing their neglect,
Too old to read their ephone or need a hot pad for their neck,

Now I have this problem sleeping , you see I tend to snore,
They wake me up to stop it, Other members shut their door,

Then the night nurse gets excited, it causes an uproar,
She missed my nightly snoring, was I breathing anymore?


She checks all my vitals then rolls me on my side,
Exclaims ,Oh, you have a temperature, Sir, I thought that you had died,

She coulda used an electronic unit, but Oh no that was wrong,
Used a rectal cold thermometer, felt like fourteen inches long,

Sleeping can be hard to do with services of that kind,
I had to vacate this mausoleum , before I lose my mind,

Now Rest homes have security, but with all due respect
It’s to keep the in mates in, not what you expect,

The road to the gate is a tough one, but I’m halfway there,
Fifty more lousy feet to go and then it’s freedoms air,

That sneaky guard won’t catch me, I’ll soon be out and gone
I stole the Pin code for the Rest home gate, shoulda brought it along’,

Cain’t remember what it was and that don’t help me either.
Forgot what I wrote it on and that don’t help me neither,

Gotta be where I wouldn’t forget, pretty smart you understand ,
Yep, there it is plain as day, written in my hand,

Left my false teeth on the sink, for when the night nurse stops to peer,
She’ll think I’m just forgetful, not beating it outta here,

They’re the best to fool the nurse , they work without fail,
Damn things never fit too good. Picked ‘em up at a big yard sale,

Twenty more yards to go, and they can kiss ol’Tom good bye,
Oh, Oh Damn I ain’t gonna make it, here comes that warden guy,

Yeah, lay down spread eagle. It’s the routine that I know.
No I ain’t got no weapon , just my shaving stuff to show,

Damn , one more time I’m busted, won’t they ever let me go,
A speed chase in the rest home, a thrill for the late late show,

Well cuss me out if that’s your pleasure, I don’t wanna be a pain,
I just gotta figure out how to jinks that game of Mexican train,

Damn , I almost made it this time , just a few more feet they said,
Guess I’m ready for nighty night, I’ll get a ride back to my bed!