buying boots on the net ain't easy-- watch out

Hoots for the Boots

You wanna generate NOISE on Face book,
Well I ordered a pair of boots, boy, that’s all it took,

Getting a pair that fit, is kinda hard to do
Reckon I shouldn’t a mentioned that. It sure cranked up a few,

My page is covered up with advertisement, all of it the latest
Here’s your chance to grab at half price Professor Boot Jack’s greatest

No! don’t leave this page, watch my free advice,
It’s only fifteen minutes long. A miracle device,

Guaranteed to save you thousands whenever buying shoes
There ‘s no hidden charges or member joining dues,

Stop there! , mister salesman, I’m just an old cowboy,
Ain’t putting on the dog . jes wanna dress like Gene and Roy

See, I don’t walk a lot and boots is what I wear
I ain’t exactly a heavy buyer, I only need one pair

Don’t need no miracle thing, reckon you misunderstood
I put’em on , fill’em with water ,they shrink to fit real good,

Didn’t know I’ed cause a ruckus, it was only boots, I‘m buyin,
You’d think I hit the lotto with every scheme ,these folks were tryin,


Rattlesnake and lizard skin is pretty , but costs a lot of course,
How pretty can you get , hangin on each side of a horse,

Deer skin ain’t too bad, may be better than the rest
But for soft that feels like slippers calf skin is the best,

But with that I have a problem, it’s just a personal quirk,
You see, Old Calfee ain’t around no more, to see his pretty work,

My email got around real quick to every outfit with out fail,
Seemed like every Charity in the country hit me with their mail,

Sent me lots of stuff, reckon they wanted a donation,
They ain’t been outside lately, don’t know about inflation,

Couldn’t understand it, I ain’t loaded, it was boots I need to git
I appreciate the socks, , too bad, they didn’t fit,

I’M switching ads and gittin back to that, mister Boot Jack.
Maybe I’ll learn something , give his advice a crack,

His voice it’s really smooth and deep, so now, don’t you reckon,
Maybe, I’ll forget the boots, my ol’recliner beckons.