Gotta laugh at your troubles and enjoy each day.Just smile and move on, it's much better that way.

The Dark Side of Ninety

Whatta you do, you’re still kickin and ninety years old,
And still think you’re twenty and just put on hold,

As a dignified old Geezer, I really missed my chance ,
Long john’s and over alls, or baggy sweat pants,

With such disregard they hung past the ankle,
But I became a success, as a real bad example,

There’s too much stuff that don’t work anymore,
A lotta things are noisy that were quiet before,

But I can’t hear’em and I like it that way,
Quiet is so peaceful , now what did you say,

A squeak from my rocker ? I don’t think so my Dear,
No, it’s not the chair, it’s your knees that I hear,

Say that again, I’ll turn up this time,
These danged ear plugs, they ain’t worth a dime !

Six thousand dollars to shore up my ears,
Ain’t done that much listening in two or three years,

You agree I don’t need’em, I never hear what you say ,
And texting’s a waste , I cain’t read anyway,

Yes dear, I heard you, but yell it once more,
My memory remember,it’s now pretty poor,


No, I ain’t complaining, I just wish I knew,
Why my old rocker is bothering you,

Maybe it’s squeaky, but you gotta see,
It’s been around here about long as me,

It was built to order and designed to please,
But what was you shouting about my noisy knees,

Wife said, Forget it, you are a sad case,
Your hearing is hopeless, my words are a waste,

I’m headed for Wall Mart and I’ve gotta go,
What’s wrong with our bath room? I fixed it you know,

Wrong again? Yeah; give my ears a rest,
That baby next door now, his Dad is the best,

Brought him over to give me a look,
But,one little close up is all that it took,

The kid broke up crying, when he saw my face,
His dad was embarrassed, turned leaving my place,

I said , Think nothing of it , I’m glad that you came,
When I look in a mirror, I do the same!

My eyes now are special, they’ve sure gotta be,
Doctor’s gotta new car , I think it’s on me,

Giving it a name, he surely succeeded,
Said Cadillac surgery is just what I needed,

Had an eye test, at the ol’DMV,
I told that lady, I could perfectly see,

But change that sign, it’s all Greek to me,
Or your spelling is awful, except for the big E,

She said now you’re hopeless get a new life,
I said dang it no! now, you sound like my wife,

But lady you’re wrong, my eyes are just great,
After lookin again that big E's a big 8,

She said Are you Spanish, you passed the big test,
Ma’am I done the English, the Spanish I just guessed,

Is my new license ready or is it in the mail ,
Whatta you mean, the register says that I fail ?

Come on now lady you really better check,
I’ve gone forty one days now without one single wreck,

That lady quit talking. Maybe I won that bout,
Nope! her mouth is still goin, my battery ran out,

Well,at Ninety you’d think my race has been run,
Of course now you’re wrong, there’s still lots of fun,

With so many laughs still hiding in you,
I Insult common sense like the politicians do,

This Big Ninety rap for 2023,
I’ll close it all out with Happy Birthday to me!