I thought I knew absence oh yes
I cried when he turned from me
like a silly girl I thought that was all there was to me
I know absence
there, beneath my hands
lies the death of beauty
all things that were good within me
are gone
gone, gone, they go, watch them little boy
and run
far away from mommy, who needs a reason
what reason could there be--to die
just run from mommy baby
she could never give you what you need
could never give you daddy and that's what matters
their words like insanity stumble into my way
trip over my eyes as they scramble to reach me
waiting for baby to come home
baby . . . come home
I see you, little boy, resting in my womb
but not breathing
what macabre torture is this
holding my boy, holding his death
feeding the evil that has stolen his breath
they said you would have had blue eyes
I imagined them flying over the water like blue doves
they say your hair was dark and curly
your fingers and toes like your daddy
your little nose still scrunched up unhappily
-just like your daddy-
they said you looked like you were asleep
I said you were just waiting for me
I'll be there soon, honey
mommy won't leave you alone for long
we'll plant absence in the windowsill
and watch the doves fly over the water
just on the edge of his vision
never from his mind
baby . . . I'm coming home.