My friend, this is heart-wrenching and dark, even despairing. I hope it is a point of catharsis rather than a true mood that has settled upon you. You know where to find me if you need to talk.

Hello April, Though I am new here I saw this two ways, one way: Very sorry for you loss. He must have been your rock. Embrase the sadness and know this, when someone we love leaves there body, they become more apart of you. They are the air that you breath and can still give you love and know you love as well. second way: Even though we struggle in life with addictions to mask the pain of scars on our childs blueprint, we need to remember that an addiction is just the bandaid over an old wound that from time to time bleeds. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, drive to a friends house, which I believe this sight is for you, and seek love. I value you. You are worth saving. If either one of these things are right, I offer a loving hand up from your knees. Love and Light. Karen

April,
This is worrying..please share the pain and loss in a way we can come to terms with. Your friends at AD care.

John

Why or how or at what did you fail?
Who are "the others?"
What was "all for nothing."
I do not believe that anything is ever "for nothing."
What is there to forgive.

Explain, April. People care. I hope you are okay. Sending you love, peace, and best wishes,

Regis