Ok so you cut your wrists
and the skin peeled away
from fresh red meat
in such an entrancing way
And the dark fluid seeped
over it’s former threshold
to trickle across soft white skin
and onto cold hard floor
And, yes, maybe there was something
so beautiful and calming
in the utter lack of thought in your brain
Sort of like watching a train wreck
from 20 feet above,
right?
Well, lets think
about what might have been,
shall we?
You fell away, yes…
fell and never stopped.
The world swirling up around you
in just such a way for eternity
And you may have thought
the world around you ceased to exist
Oh but it didn’t
You may have thought
that those you hate
would suddenly break down in tears
But oh they didn’t
Maybe you expected the people that hurt you
to dive into fits of remorse
Turn to God on their knees
and beg Him to beg your forgiveness
Sweetheart, they never will
Of course, your mother would have been inconsolable
And maybe, for once,
you’d get just the amount of attention you deserved
Boy, you sure showed them didn’t you?
Laying there all dead and pale.
Completely useless and wrote off
Just another 15 year waste of resources to the casual eye
Just a statistical tragedy that will eventually
Be chalked up to your own instability
No one else will take the blame
No one else will regret things they’ve said or done
Only you, love, only you.
And one day
When your mother and those who loved you
Finally realize that they can’t allow you
-just a dead boy-
to ruin their lives as well
they will hate you
but who cares
because you made your point
right?

Now let’s take a step back
I look down at my rounded belly
And inside, nestled warm and safe
Is a small child, waiting for this life
Feeling so lucky for this chance
And dreaming of all it will do or be
And I realize that not so long ago
This child was you
And you were so new
And so ready to take the world on
Yet, somehow, in such a short time
You’ve let them all conquer you
Everyone who should mean nothing to you
They’ve come so close to beating you
And you’ve come so close to being just
A memory
In five years few will remember you died
And in thirty no one will remember you lived
Because you never gave yourself a chance
So the next time you’re holding that bowl of ice
And breaking the razors to pull out the sharp blades
Just think about what I said
And think about this little baby I’m carrying
And try to remember a day when it was you.