I want to hate you
for the jealous rage you put me in
for the silent jealous rages that are so out of character

I want to hate you
for the beauty in you that brings me to tears
for always being the picture of what I couldn't dream of holding

I want to hate you
for feeding me this slow-killing love drug
just enough to get me hooked not enough to get me high

I want to hate you
for being so much smarter than me
for having answers to all of my wise cracks and sarcastic whips
(even when I dont)

I want to hate you
but more than that I want you to love me in return

I want to hate you ...
so that I can stop this whirlwind full of inevitable pain
for all the things you refuse to say
for all the things you said to her long ago
for the things you desire that are not me
for letting her destroy you

I want to hate you
but for heaven's sake I love you so much it hurts

And I can't even bring myself to tell you.

I want to hate you.