i think
i think about when i use to cut myself
and i think about it
and i think about it
but i know i wont
i just want
i want to be someone else
i dont care about the strength
or the beauty of character
or the glory ahead
i just want something else
i want out
i dont care about
brushing my hair out of my face
i dont care that my lipstick
is a little smeared
i dont care if my eyes look tired
and hungry
i think
i think about when i starved myself
and wonder when ill stop
and i dont really want to stop
because i dont really care
about this hollowness beneath my ribs
it gives me something to focus on
i hear you say you want me
over and over and over
and i have to be honest with you
i dont want anything
not from you
not from them
not from me
not from life
but if you want me
then come and find me
ill be waiting here
dead eyes and quiet hands
tired of life and its noble intentions
tomorrow ill wake up
and put on my other skin
and ill forget that i dont care
ill forget that im tired
ill forget that im bored
or that i havent eaten in a week
because what else is there to do
life refuses to go on without me
he keeps grabbing me by the wrist
throwing me out the front door
im ready
im ready to be something else
cold, empty shell
hollow inside out
im ready
to be someone else
i intimidate you
because you dont understand me
so you justify your own fear
and call me crazy
you look at the scars on my arms
and you look at the half open eyes
that dare you to accuse me of caring
and you call me crazy
ok baby
whatever you say
and i retreat back into this hollow mind
and you still dont understand