Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true ?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it! don't waste those heartbeats on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and  corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine; that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of
the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets; and remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways. A Root Beer in one hand (vegetable) - a chocolate bar in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

AND FINALLY, just a little something more for you to really think about.

Every one of us, no matter our size, shape, physical condition or age, is eventually going to die. Statistics prove that the majority of us will die in a nursing home or a hospital. So, look at it this way; I do.

One day, when you're looking up from your hospital bed at your doctor and you ask, "Doctor, what is wrong with me; why am I dying?" And the doctor looks down at you and says, "Well, you lived a good healthy life, kept in shape, exercised regularly, didn't smoke or drink, ate a healthy diet. So, hmmmmmm, my diagnosis is that you are dying of NOTHING."

Well, not this guy; no way. When I'm asking my doctor why I'm dying he better have one hell of a good reason to give me because I'm giving him multiple choices, that's for damn sure. I can guarantee you this. When it's time for me to head for that big home plate in the sky, I'll be sliding in all the way with spikes forward and one held high. This guy's going home with his boots on and fighting all the way.

Have a great day, eat and drink merrily and may God bless.