This year the autumnal equinox arrives on Saturday, September 22, marking the official first day of fall. Here's everything you should know about the way we have to celebrate it ;))
Like an inverted cup
Is the dome of the night sky
That covers the wasteland
Of my pure mind. . .
I raise my seventh glass
To the moon's disc, proposing
Time and again, 'Let's top off
The autumnal equinox night
With another drink
Of delightful proportion!'
O, how endlessly the sky line
That runs out of me into Eternity!
And the heavens reflect
The deep blue ocean above my head;
The gusty wind blows,
The tall grass bends, and
The nine golden dragons come into view--
Some without horns but some without claws.
Well penned. My only suggestion would be to consider lifting it out of the first person and incorporate the perception in the 3rd. Identity is confined to your take the way it's written now. Of course that's just an opinion, and as you know, I have a subjective bias against first person as too often self serving narcissistic indulgence, avoiding the more challenging focus of reaching our to all of us with the 3rd person approach, empowering readers with the opportunity to find their personal identity in the writing.
The transition to autumn came and went for me because I wasn't paying attention… Even when football became so pronounced once again, some of my tree leaves changed, and some came off, and the air became slightly cooler.
A beautiful rendition of what the fall equinox means to you when night comes now all around.
A book of nature inspired poems and essays, written from the heart and soul of a life-long nature, animal, and wilderness lover, and dedicated to today’s children - Earth's only hope for a better tomorrow.
This book won 'The Poetry Category'
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Love ya!
Jane
Sandie
A beautiful rendition of what the fall equinox means to you when night comes now all around.
Ron