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Electric Car
Gramps, it’s an electric, The newest, to be had,
It’s gonna save our planet from that green house gas, so bad,
Son I told that politician, not to paint his house that color,
I guess it wouldn’t matter, but brownish would be duller,
You’re sayin it’s an electric car, and driving it ain’t hard,
Son, that cord ain’t long enough to git you outta the yard,
No gramps it run’s on batteries new lithium, they’re the latest,
Go ahead, get in and try it, you’ll find it is the greatest,
Son, I just cain’t do it, even starting's rough,
Fourteen different buttons, too much crazy stuff,
Cain’t even hear the motor, think it’s already broke ,
Never heard the starter and there ain’t no smoke,
Gramps , it’s just Ok ,everything is new now days
Son you’re right I reckon, I’m not for this modern craze,
Ok son I’ll take a ride, but only a little short one,
You know me I’m old school, Lots of stuff I’ve never done,
Kinda pretty in here, shines like grandma’s ring
But what’s that sound it’s making ? you don’t hear a thing?
Well listen now real close , sounds like my clock a ticking,
Oh No Gramps, for a right hand turn, that’s the signal clicking,
I didn’t know you had to make a noise, never did before,
Well Gramps we never use those hand signs, any more ,
You know ,I been wondering bout that, in the crosswalks when I linger,
Everyone is waving at me with a middle finger,
Gramps these new electric cars, you’ve gotta read the book,
I never knew to drive a car, that reading’s what it took,
How you gonna read while looking out the winders,
Gramps it’s an automatic, they’ve got sensors on the fenders,
What about up front, you might run into someone’s car,
There’s a bumper sensor, it measures just how far,
Son I don’t believe this stuff, what does that TV show?
Gramps that’s a GPS, it tells you where to go ,
It tells you when to stop or turn and when to arrive,
I never needed such a thing when Grandma was alive,
She always rode with me you know, sure do miss that girl,
I bet ya, were she here, she’d give this thing a whirl,
But Son I’m too old fashioned for these cars and city rules,
I’ll just hang out on the farm and drive my two old mules ,
I can doze a little, them ol’mules don’t make a sound,
They’ve got all this automatic stuff and they know the way to town.
© 2024 Tom Leftwich
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Reminds me of what dad would say only he wouldn't use that vernacular, being a well read man of the local newspaper every day. Still, he would say words like Illi-noise. Got his cars right though like Chevro-lay. Only he rarely said it, preferring Chevy instead. But I think he'd be intensely interested in the Tesla. Great grandpa drove a beer wagon in Milwaukee. Grandpa drove the Auburn limo for a rich man from his farm in Wisconsin to Chicago and back. Dad drove truck. Always looking for the latest technology, yet hankering back for the good old days of cars.
Also reminds me of the old codger who did the concrete park made out of concrete embedded with pieces of colorful glass bottles. He made one concrete statue of a draft horse with the sign: it was horses that cleared this land. The tractor was only good for the farmer to drive by with his latest purchase on the road made by horses.
https://wisconsinconcretepark.org
That last twist was a blast…
Ron