En garde, Charlie. How's this for strategy?

 

The third grade spelling bee began
with little Charlie
(pink-cheeked darling)
rising from her plastic chair
and smoothing slightly-rumpled hair
she faced the parents gathered there
and resolutely stated,

"I'm ready, teacher.  What's my word?
I'll spell it loud
I'll make you proud
I've memorized vocabulary
I read the whole dang dictionary
I may be small, but I ain't scared-y.
Say my word.  I'll spell it!"

"Your word is there," the teacher said.
Dear Charlie pondered
thoughts a-wander
Not only t-h-e-r-e
but t-h-e-i-r could be
or (adding an apostrophe)
t-h-e-y-r-e

Dear Charlie stated her dilemma
with hands in air,
"This isn't fair.
Don't be so dumb.  Throw me a bone.
I need a not-so-homophone."
The teacher gave a little moan
and said, "Fine. Spell aardvark."

 

 

Author's note: Thanks to my third grade music teacher who made us sing this song every week (to the tune of The Blue Danube):
It starts with an A (aardvark, aardvark)
And ends with a K (aardvark, aardvark)
Not easy to say (aardvark, aardvark)
But try anyway (aardvark, aardvark)
Eats ants every day (aardvark, aardvark)
At work and at play (aardvark, aardvark)
And starts with an A 
a - r - d - v - a - r - k
AARDVARK!