Lift Your Arms If You're Sure (poem) by larry r linville on AuthorsDen

Lift Your Arms If You're Sure
by larry r linville → (All Poetry by larry r linville)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Oops, I made a mistake when I thought I was getting deodorant
I’m secure in my maleness As secure as I can be My wife’s sweet deodorant Is good enough for me. I often cannot find my Brut Or other manly smelling stuff When you get to my advanced age There’s no need to prove you’re rough. I saw that plastic dispenser When I awoke from my nap So I picked it up in great haste And slowly removed the cap. I turned the wheel at the bottom And it advance some soft clear gel While I rubbed in on my arm pits I noticed a different smell. I looked at the container On which was printed Icy Hot And knew in a split second Her pain killer I had got. My body smelled like Ben Gay An ointment smell was so plain It gave me a strange aroma But my arm pits had no pain. Next time I’ll look more closely Before my deodorant I don Because once it’s been applied It can never be withdrawn.

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron

Reviewed on March 12, 2012

I suspect that was an unexpected, unpleasant surprise. How long did your pitrs burn?

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by D Johnson

Reviewed on February 14, 2012

Isn't it fun when we don't take ourselves too seriously? Nice write.
Cheers,
Dan

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on February 13, 2012

Now that's a reality check, and a hoot to boot!

Ron

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Ouch! When I can't find my glasses, I don't dare put anything in my eyes, on my face, or on my armpits. But even when I do, my wife still says I smell like Dog!

Reviewed by Connie Faust

Reviewed on February 12, 2012

This is great, Larry! Good job writing, and it hits home. I think we've all done similar things at times. As a matter of fact, I cleaned my glasses with vanilla-scented air freshener spray recently as I was driving somewhere.
Everything's funnier when you can laugh at yourself!

Connie

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

"But my arm pits had no pain."

That line put me on the floor laughing all the way down...do u have pain in ur armpits very often...LOL...e

Reviewed by Debby Rosenberg

LOL... there is always soap...thanks for the laugh