There was a young naked lass from Vancouver

Who got her head stuck in a louver

Many obscenities she did spew

But because of the view

It took quite a few hours to remove her

There was a young man from New York

Who was totally addicted to pork

He lost his mind in a bar

Trying to open pig's feet in a jar

With greasy hands that didn’t have enough torque

There was a young man in Beirut

Who decided to buy a new suit

Though the garment was nice

They couldn’t agree on a price

So the tailor gave the young man the boot

There was a man from Sacramento

Who was dying for a pickled pimento

He went into the store

But forgot what the hell for

Succumbing to a senior momento

There once was a dog in Belize

Whose breath smelled like limburger cheese

His master had to admit

When the dog took a shit

It caused the whole household to wheeze

There once was a man visiting Billings

Who tried buy whiskey with shillings

The cowboys were not amused

The man they verbally abused

Now the cowboys are missing some fillings

There once was a man from Berlin

Who claimed he was completely without sin

The priests were impressed

Till they got him undressed

Revealing a racy tattoo of Mary Boleyn

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors