Been really bad this year, better seal up your chimney then…?

Bad I have been, no chimney have I got,

Do have though a sewer tank in my lot,

Santa can take a crap whenever he feels,

Leaving in my sewer a lot of brown eels…

I expect very little from Santa this year,

Yes it is because I have been a bad boy I fear,

No lights have I put up to guide Santa’s sleigh,

I don’t need him sitting on my roof and taking a crap, no way!

So if you have been a naughty little boy or girl,

Maybe leave for Santa instead of milk and cookies,

Some special gift to show you are sorry,

Maybe that of a diamond or at least a pretty pearl…

He may just be less likely to sit on your chimney,

But if you cannot, I do suggest to at least put a roll of paper there,

It’s the least you can do; Santa may see it and take pity on you, that’s only fair,

Instead of crapping down the chimney, he may just “make” on the stairs…

                    © ed ~ 12/14/04