AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Valerie Boggess, iPamela Wiedenbeck, iFrank Whyte, iRobin Ouzman Hislop, iEdward Patterson, iFlo Fitzpatrick, iLisa Loucks Christenson, iWilliam Potter, iMargaret Evans, iLisa DAnnolfo Levey, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Questions Answered
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook


Poem Artwork

Questions Answered…

 

Now we know,

Even when the wind does blow,

Bears do sh** in the woods,

A toilet under their butts, yes below…

 

So this must also mean,

That the pope is actually catholic,

This, another question of the philosophical scene,

But what does the bear use on his butt to clean…?

 

Do we really want to know?

If then you really do, just to the bear go,

Ask him yourself, I value my life,

Though you had better arm yourself,

Possibly with an arrow and bow…

          © ed ~ 5/16/05

 
 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Questions Answered"
Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
The commercial says that they use Charmin...soft and absorbent, you know. One can only imagine how much TP a bear might need. Ewwwww!! at bear doo! Hope I don't get it on my shoe! Or slip in bear pee... Way to visual for me!
Take care,
Sherry

Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
Well I actually used leaves once in the woods but they are hard to get out of the crack. Okay and now do bees be. Good one Ed.

Reviewed by William Bonilla
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
kool and funny Ed
but I won't be the one asking
that question to any wild bear
people think they are cute
they are deadly creatures
good to stay away from,
as all wild critters at that

Pecae Brother
Will;iam

Reviewed by Roger Ochs
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
This is unbearably funny

Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
Why would we need to endanger our lives, while you value yours when you can plainly see the roll of TP on the back of the commode, EddieM? Plus, it looks to be half gone, so we must conclude that bears sh*tting in the woods is an age-old custom and if we don't want the bear to eat us, we should drop off a 6-pack of a double roll of Charmin. That's what I use. Yep... em... is that too much information? I'm never sure.

Now, for the tree making noise if no one is around... got any insight or proof of that one? Carry on.........katy xox

p.s. " I value my life," Considering the last few days in your life and your poetry, this was my favorite line... Be well, Petunia!


Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
LOL cute write LOL

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
Hehehehe thanks....you are a hoot!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
This photo goes right up there with the Sasquatch and Loch Ness pictures. Now you can tell Charmin there IS truth in advertising.

Reviewed by Paul Williams
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
lolololol another class act Ed thanks for the smiles.

Paul;-}

Reviewed by Cathrine Hottran
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
:) :) :) thanks for the smile you put on my face with this one :) :) :)

Reviewed by john zimmerman
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
when i was a diviniy student we had an extensive list of these sayings the mention of one of whch wold bring forth the entre string'
Is the Pope Catholic?
Do bear s**t in thw woods?
Do obby horses have wooden ...'
do frogs have watertight rectums

therer were several more but they got worse as the list got longer.

i appreciate your opus gor its own sake but also for the memories

john+

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on May 16, 2005
LOL. The Bear necessities..


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  2.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  5.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  6.  Laughing As I Flee...
  7.  A Salt and Batter
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  Milkman's letter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  The Last Second
  14.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  15.  My First Heart Attack
  16.  Houston Greats
  17.  Atlanta Belle
  18.  Burst Forth
  19.  Flocking
  20.  Bad Boy
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces by Jay Dubya

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works.  
Member BookAds

Love is a Pretty Girl with a Cape to Share Your Dreams With by Bob Boze

A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes. Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over. Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets  
Member BookAds