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Michael D. Schafer

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Tooling Around
by Michael D. Schafer → (All Poetry by Michael D. Schafer)
Monday, January 27, 2020    Rated "G" by the Author.
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The right tool for the right job.


Poem Artwork

                             TOOLING AROUND

 

I’m a True Value,

And hardware bound.

 With an Ace in its place,

I’m just tooling around.

 

I go to Black and Decker,

For their counsel and advice.

And with a grip on the market,

Irwin supplies my every vise.

 

When it comes to making the cut,

I can say I only saw Stihl.

And bit by boring bit you can be sure,

That Milwaukee knows the drill.

 

A genuine Craftsman,

I’ve hammered out problems and deals.

I’ve nailed it and stayed level,

And kept my Ventrac on its wheels,

 

I’ve worked for Stanley Staples,

And his lovely wife Makita Dupree.

They both attended DeWalt U,

And graduated with a Dremel degree.

 

 I had gotten real tight with Piper Wrench,

Her Rigid jaws could sure clamp down.

But then I plumbed the depths her tool box,

And got caught snaking around.

 

When I’m out and tooling about,

I never know what to expect.

But it’s always a hands-on experience,

And I’m ready for the next project.

 

Now it’s time to close up shop,

And say goodbye to all my friends.

I’m going to lopper off into the sunset,

And bring this tooling tale to an end.

 

Michael D. Schafer

© January 12, 2020


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 Reviews of "Tooling Around"
Reviewed by Susanne Leist
Reviewed on February 6, 2020
Cute. You've mentioned everything I hate about the over-sized hardware stores, except for the paint spinner that spins the wrong shade.

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on January 30, 2020
I would like you to show me where I can find Piper Wrench's toolbox. Would like to dive a little deeper into that! You sure know how to get into home improvement the funny way. Especially with all that "tooling" around. Loved every word of it.

Ron

Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on January 28, 2020
Funny stuff, as ever, Mike, I am not to able to work with tools, though my own personal tool I've been told I work well with...:) -e-

Reviewed by David Thompson
Reviewed on January 28, 2020
This is so much better than I could ever attempt to write. Loved it, Michael. One of your best. Keep them coming. There’s still a lot of stuff out there you can play around with. After all, Webster’s Dictionary s a pretty large book.

Reviewed by E Phillips
Reviewed on January 28, 2020
A man and his tool is nobody's fool, especially if he measures it with a 40 ft retractable tape measure. (Sorry, Michael, that's the best I can do these days).

Reviewed by John Herlihy
Reviewed on January 27, 2020
Another classic humor poem to uplift our spirits. Inventive and funny as always. There seems to be no end to what you have hiding in your tool kit. Thanks at this early hour.


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