... No corner of my room will escape your careful attention to detail. ....
Image (c) 2008, Karla Dorman
You sweep in
like a massive broom
bent on cleaning:
Poking under the bed,
you raise the dust
of a thousand years
on the stong back
of a lightning bolt.
You raise your voice
in a cannonade
of thunder and
shake the sheets of
Earth with wind and rain.
You tremble the rugs,
beating them with hail
until they sparkle.
No corner of my room
will escape the
careful attention
to detail:
all will be spotless
when you are through.
And when the air clears,
you rainbow hope
against the sky
and in my eyes.
Skillful and fun offering, Karla. I loved the way you got so much motion into this poem. Did you get that cleaning lady's card, I think I could use her once a week.
Take care,
Sherry
A fabulous array of interpretations accompany this clean sweep, Karla... could be Spring, could be the next Perfect Storm, could be the ridding of germs through fever... unless it's my mind that's over heating! :)) Your images are always sharp and clear. It's true - you need to publish your unique, Stormspinning takes. You always create a clean air around your work. Good one! xx
Outstanding poem, Karla. I think it may be stronger without the last line...what do you think? This is highly publishable... get to work, girl. --Charlie
I love your opening; catches your attention and holds you there. I also like your personification of the storm, even though I don't read this as a literal storm, but more metaphorically for a stormy relationship (but that's just me). Clever piece, well done! Best, Elizabeth
It does always amaze me that after a storm things seem almost revitalized and fresh again as if thrown in a clothes washer and spun out. Good write Karla.
hugs
fee
Explore the mystery of how nature makes unexpected gifts of creative wonders to an unsuspecting caregiver one late night and early morning in southeastern Georgia, USA.
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Sheila
Take care,
Sherry
Excellent technique and the multiple ways of interpreting leave the reader wondering and surmising in the best possible fashion.
John
Love, Christine
You import such depth of word meaning into all your poetry - marvelous!!
Hugs,
Lance
Love,
ET
Rebecca
Metaphorically yours, -gene.
(((HUGS))) and much love, your twink, Karen Lynn. :D
Cryssa
hugs
fee
Georg