I wasn't sure whether to file this one under "Humor" or "Holidays." In any case, it's humor about holidays (but I really MEAN it this year!)

Wary Christmas:
Ho Ho Ho Just Go

Why won't anyone believe me
That I want to be left alone
That I want them to relieve me
Of the doorbell and telephone?
The telephone isn't so bad
It's that damned bell which drives me mad

I simply wish to disappear
Until "the holidays" are gone
Nor reappear until next year
Damn it! Get off my porch! Go on
And bother someone else today
I don't want to be cheered up now

I don't want to be a Mormon
I hope we've got that cleared up now
And I only disappoint my relatives
I don't want to be a doorman
And I've told you this a thousand times: what gives?
I'm elusive I'm reclusive: go away!



+Steven Curtis Lance

(And I really MEAN it this year!)

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