Mike, I will be missing you humor during my break, take care not to whack those keys too hard, they are quite easily broken...-e-

Real story: Way back in the distant past I was told to type a report on a friend who was being court-martialed. The major called and told me he needed it pronto. I was not a typist, and could not get the damned report done. The more the major screamed, the worse I typed. The court-martial was dismissed, and I went straight to the major's shit list. Then one night the major showed up in the barracks and took his seat in a poker game. He sat pat with a full house, I drew 3 cards to a pair of 7's. He bet, I raised, and he called me the dumbest %^&**( a-hole in his outfit as he turned over his full house. I mentioned something about having two pairs as he laughed his ass off. When I laid down two pairs of 7's he shit a brick and accused me of palming the other pair. I asked him if he wanted me to type the report. That was the last time I ever saw the SOB.

Unlike John I took my first typing course with a bunch of speedy girls my sophomore year in high school. I racked up an amazing 45 wpm. My mother brought a 1920-ish Royal with sticky keys and dirty font that carried my brother and I through high school and part of college until I graduated to no useful fingers at 20. Rehab got me a brand-new rental electric until I graduated college. And then, I bought a used Underwood office model with a broken (welded) housing that got me through my doctorate typing with one finger on my right hand and my left index knuckle for the shift key. Typed my 400 page dissertation twice with it. still in the bedroom closet, last used to do multi-part W-2 forms for my employees.

I welcomed the computer keyboard and after seven or eight voice dictation systems, I am now writing this long discourse, finally, at over 100 words a minute with my voice and more perfect spelling than I ever had.

And your poem? Wonderfully wacky. One thing that makes me cringe is when people say they are "mashing" the keys. Reminds me of those folks at the office that beat on their keyboards like they were still operating the 1920s manual. Wrecked more keyboards that way. The only mash that I find any good was the old TV show, mashed potatoes and that wonderful wacky Halloween song, The Monster Mash. Boris Karloff at his best.

Ron

In sophomore year of high school, I bought my own typewriter and taught myself how to type. I put myself through college working as a typist night for a trucking company and was paid by the piece for each bill of lading I typed. Guess what: I developed an incredible speed to ring up the cash. To this day, I can type over 100 words per minute. Loved your poem because it brought back many memories. Thanks Michael. John

I was "geared" for anything that had a keyboard. Like Jane, started out on the old typewriter. Graduated to the linotype (90 keys), ad eventually found myself sitting in front of a monitor and a keyboard.

Same thing with piano keys! If you don't use it, you lose it. When I first used a typewriter, it was a big ol' Royal that gave you muscular fingers!! LOL!! 'Even had to push the carriage over for the next line!! LOL!!! I like this!!!

Love ya!

Jane