STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH

I’ve bought a pig in a poke.

I’ve barked up the wrong tree.

I’ve slept with dogs,

And ended up with fleas.

I went hog wild,

And broke my piggy bank.

It really got my goat,

My cash cow was an empty tank.

I’ve been in the dog house,

Hounded by my wife.

They say every dog has its day,

But I’ve led a dog’s life.

I got put out to pasture,

For horsing around.

I learned to be quiet as a mouse,

And not make a sound.

I’ve had to hoof it,

And I’ve been rode hard.

Led like a lamb to the slaughter,

I’ve been branded and scarred.

I’ve heard cock and bull stories.

I’ve seen dog and pony shows.

It’s a dog eat dog world,

That’s just the way it goes.

I’ve been naked as a jay bird,

But that’s neither fish nor fowl.

I’m no spring chicken,

But I’m a wise old owl.

I’ve been stubborn as a mule.

I’ve fished for compliments.

I’ve been made a monkey out of,

From my lack of horse sense.

I’ve been mad as a hornet,

And gentle as a lamb.

The world is my oyster,

I’m happy as a clam.

There’s a bull in the china shop,

He’s busy as a bee.

I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.

A little bird told me.

I’ve been watched like a hawk,

By a pair of eagle eyes.

I made sure my ducks were in a row,

And let sleeping dogs lie.

I’ve had more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

It’s monkey see, monkey do.

I had to see a man about a dog,

And made a trip to the loo.

I’ve backed the wrong horse.

I’ve been on a wild goose chase.

I’ve had to tuck tail,

And run in the rat race.

I’ve had ants in my pants,

All I could do was squirm.

I stirred up a hornet’s nest.

I opened a can of worms.

I’ve had puppy love.

I’ve been a guinea pig.

I’ve been the cat’s meow.

I monkeyed around with a wig.

Now I’ve made a lot of statements,

But only some of them are true .

I was just having fun with words,

And I hope you had fun too.

Michael D. Schafer

© November 23, 2018