This is my poetic version of a story I heard from Neal Dixon Comedian and Hollywood personality. I’ve put it in this form for your enjoyment—Maybe?

The Old Lady Driver,

Maude and Hough were headed for Fort Worth,
From the way she was driving, it was this Texas town or burst,

Being very hard of hearing, she never heard a sound,
The Highway Patrol passed and then he pulled her down ,

Later he said, lady, Didn’t you know you were speeding?
What’d he say, Hough , what did he say about my reading ?

Nothin about reading, Said you were speeding, going way too fast,
She said , No, No Hough, not me, he’s the one that passed,

Officer said Ma’am it’s your license , that I need to see ,
What’d he say now Hough? Is He’s still talking to me?

He wants to see your license, I think it’s in your purse,
Damnit all I’ll get it out , but he passed me first,

Officer said , I see you’re leaving Little Rock, getting out of town ,
Can’t say that I blame you, but you gotta slow it down,

I met a gal there once on a real bad blinders date,
Had to he ugliest woman in the whole blame state,

What’d he say ? what’d he say now , Hugh?
I cain’t say for certain , but I think he knows you!