Here’s to buggin you. This story is halfway true to get a laugh or two.

Gray Bug Requiem

Jim, Jim, hurry there’s a big gray bug in here,
Honey, your head’s in a bucket , I can’t hear,

I’ve got my head in a bucket , what did you say?
Get your head outta the bucket , can you hear me Ok?

What’s this gray bug thing you’re yelling all about?
He’s hiding in there, and won’t come out,

Did you turn that bucket upside down,
He ought to fall right out on the ground,

I don’t want him out, he’s liable to bite,
Can’t he stay in there , ain’t that alright?

Ok honey , we’ll have it your way,
Overnight won’t matter, I reckon he can stay,

Let the bucket sit, it’s getting too dark to see,
I’ll get him out tomorrow, just let him be,

Let’s get some dinner, I think this will be good,
Tell me about him , describe him if you could,

He was gray and scary , his back looked kinda rough,
I couldn’t get my head outta that bucket fast enough,

Ok Honey , it’s over anyway,
Tomorrow I promise will be a better day,

Jim , Jim Honey I hate to keep you up awake,
Please would you go check that bug for my sake,

I can’t sleep and I know you’re beat,
But do you think that bug had anything to eat?

That buckets been empty and the bottom was bare,
That poor little buggie might be starving in there,

Oh for Christ’s sake!, I’ll see what I can do,
I didn’t think that bug meant that much to you,

Thank you darling, I’m sorry , but you see,
I just cain’t sleep, with this bothering me,

Hon, I turned the bucket over and set the critter free,
He scooted for the wood pile as fast as he could be,

Oh My God you didn’t! He’ll be coming in the house,
You know that I am petrified by every little mouse,

Christ Almighty Jesus, I don’t know what I missed,
But I gotta a fifth of bourbon hid, for crazy times like this,

Here’s to the little wife so tender and so true ,
And here’s to that, poor damn gray buggie, I shoulda used my shoe !


© 2020 Tom Leftwich