One of the perks of being a police officer. Free coffee and donuts.
A woman is a sucker for a man in uniform. But why doesn't she like my custodian outfit? It's got a nice color scheme and the logo of the company and it. Maybe I will have to get some kind of fancy cap to put on my head so that I'm totally decked out when I introduce her to the sweet smells of the dumpster out back.
Ron
Reviewed by Kalikiano Kalei
Reviewed on May 6, 2021
At one point in my life, after returning from the Middle East in the mid-90s, I thought a brief career change might be refreshing and besides, back then I still had some romantic notions and romantic ideals (that are today long dashed to the rocks that are strewn across Lake Despond)...so I decided to apply for a position as a Sheriff's Deputy in the quaint little California town of Yreka (near Mt. Shasta, up north). I've always had a healthy element of Boy Scout in me, after all...
I passed all the physical fitness requirements with flying colors and then faced the Yreka City Council's oral interview. Noting a life of medical work and principal involvement for 40 years in the cardiopulmonary laboratory profession, they wondered why I had suddeny decided to get a badge. "What sort of vendetta do you intend to carry out behind a badge?" they wondered. "Who are you intending to 'get rid of'? Are you a gang member?" More verbal queries like this followed in rapid succession.
I was totally unprepared for something like this and just stared at them incredulously and stunned by the questions! How do I explain that, within the cozy confines of my highly idealistic concept of Law Enforcement Officers' duties, I thought of them in the same terms that 1890s New Yorkers regarded the local Irish corner cop...as a friendly, helpful and protective upholder of law, order and 'right behavior', helping old ladies across the street and chasing local 'bad boys' away with a few scolding words and a wag of a Blackthorn truncheon, when necessary?
It didn't take me long to decided that my decision to become the local Yreka equivalent of the cheerful, friendly and reliable NY Irish corner cop was waaaaaay off base and I hastily left Yreka as soon as my interview had concluded.
Today, in the midst of the sea-change that is sweeping away 'traditional' white America away and replacing it with a youthful identity-socialist, pro neo-anarchistic culture in which cops are the sworn and hated enemy of those under the age of 30 (and who categorically regard them all as vile abusers of 'innocent' people of color), I can see that I have lived far too long and it's probably time to jump off the edge of this planet that is no longer familiar to me! When I reflect upon all these changes, I simply get more and more depressed!
So...and here's the point I'm taking so long to make, Tom: Your light-hearted and highly amusing comedic take on LEOs is vastly enjoyable and helps considerably to keep me from getting further sucked into philosophical despondency! Thanks very much and please continue to take these well-intended, satirical 'jabs' at our chaotic culture as you have done so perfectly here and elsewhere! :))
I spent a night in jail in Victorville Calif way back when. I asked the Swat Team why they were taking me in, and they said: "If anything bad happens tonight, we'll know it wasn't you."
Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With
Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
Share
Print
Save
Follow
A woman is a sucker for a man in uniform. But why doesn't she like my custodian outfit? It's got a nice color scheme and the logo of the company and it. Maybe I will have to get some kind of fancy cap to put on my head so that I'm totally decked out when I introduce her to the sweet smells of the dumpster out back.
Ron
I passed all the physical fitness requirements with flying colors and then faced the Yreka City Council's oral interview. Noting a life of medical work and principal involvement for 40 years in the cardiopulmonary laboratory profession, they wondered why I had suddeny decided to get a badge. "What sort of vendetta do you intend to carry out behind a badge?" they wondered. "Who are you intending to 'get rid of'? Are you a gang member?" More verbal queries like this followed in rapid succession.
I was totally unprepared for something like this and just stared at them incredulously and stunned by the questions! How do I explain that, within the cozy confines of my highly idealistic concept of Law Enforcement Officers' duties, I thought of them in the same terms that 1890s New Yorkers regarded the local Irish corner cop...as a friendly, helpful and protective upholder of law, order and 'right behavior', helping old ladies across the street and chasing local 'bad boys' away with a few scolding words and a wag of a Blackthorn truncheon, when necessary?
It didn't take me long to decided that my decision to become the local Yreka equivalent of the cheerful, friendly and reliable NY Irish corner cop was waaaaaay off base and I hastily left Yreka as soon as my interview had concluded.
Today, in the midst of the sea-change that is sweeping away 'traditional' white America away and replacing it with a youthful identity-socialist, pro neo-anarchistic culture in which cops are the sworn and hated enemy of those under the age of 30 (and who categorically regard them all as vile abusers of 'innocent' people of color), I can see that I have lived far too long and it's probably time to jump off the edge of this planet that is no longer familiar to me! When I reflect upon all these changes, I simply get more and more depressed!
So...and here's the point I'm taking so long to make, Tom: Your light-hearted and highly amusing comedic take on LEOs is vastly enjoyable and helps considerably to keep me from getting further sucked into philosophical despondency! Thanks very much and please continue to take these well-intended, satirical 'jabs' at our chaotic culture as you have done so perfectly here and elsewhere! :))