You see it's like this.

Late Night Ticket

Mister it’s awful late for a man your age,
To be speeding wildly ,is it road rage,

It’s two AM or don’t, you know,
What’s the rush , there’s no late show,

Officer I’m late for a lecture on whiskey abuse,
That destroys my poor body with heavy over use,

It includes damage of smoking and late night crimes,
Like gambling , drinkin and having good times,

Well, who in God’s loving name would be giving a lecture this early?
Officer, you’ve never met my bitchy wife Shirley.