Just for giggles, no offence intended, I just gotta keep my impurity mended

Bar None What?

Can we ol’fogies handle what the millennial’s have in mind,
This big question I was asked, and an answer I had to find,

The future, present and the past walked into a bar.
Future was a common sixteen, slightly under par,
A little moon eyed and brassy, like some teenagers are,

Present was a little off in looks and past her prime by just a few,
But Painted up she wasn’t too bad at she claimed thirty two,

The past wore a corset dress, green as a dollar bill,
She was claiming sixty six but way more over the hill ,

What’ll you have sixteen you gotta be twenty one, you know,
Mister are you putting me on , what does my ID show ,

I cain’t believe it, girl you’re still in school,
You know the law around here, it’s a no booze rule,

Mister it’s time you better learn the score,
No one follows those laws any more,

So before my friends protest and make you riot trouble,
I want the home Bar whiskey, and make it a double ,double,

So much for the future, now the present is here,
What’ll you have Rosie ? your usual beer?

Yeah, Sam I’m broke , need me a John,
You seen any thing of Harry or Ron,

They’re always good to hook onto,
If the wife is gone; it’s a big night or two,

Who’s the kid ? she don’t belong in here,
You better hope that the fuzz ain’t near,

Your license would vanish in a red hot minute,
And when the cop’s car left, you’d sure be in it,

Don’t get me wrong , I sure won’t tattle,
I already know how a jail door rattles,

I’ve been busted a number of times,
I guess sellin pleasure is a major crime,

Speaking of sellin, look who’s coming in,
Yeah, that’s Old Sally, Hey Sally where you been ?

Locked up for taxes? gimme a break,
You’re on Social Security, gotta be a mistake,

Sally replied, I work the rest home crew,
Once in awhile I catch someone new,

That wants a little action to keep his spirit in tone,
So I always keep an eye on the handicap’s zone ,

One here a week ago, a fancy dressed up dude,
A mouthy ol’codger, too nasty and crude,

I don’t charge city taxes on my working fee,
And the old S.O.B. arrested me,

Said he’s with the Mayor’s office, a little short this year,
I reckon they can only afford to drink cheap beer,

Judge said, not taxable , this guy is a jerk,
For the Mayor, that’s community “service” work,

Sam suddenly exclaimed, Quick ! call nine one one,
The Kid guzzeled a pint, she’s really come undone!

Rosie yelled , don’t get naked, we’ll all get busted,
Damnit none of the kids today, can be trusted,

We don’t need jailing , Sally come over here,
Grab her skirt and get her fancy brazier,

Throw’em in the dumpster sittin way back there,
And here’s the story we’re prepared to swear,

Just escaped assault ; lucky she found this bar,
Sam you’re a hero, Last of the breed you are,

TV, news the best they’ve heard,
Poor girl rescued but, naked as a bird,


Publicity Sam, place bustin at the seams,
We’ll be front page news, think of what that means,

Moolah, man, the easy street, like we’ve never seen,
Little bare butt here, is a winner, our ticket to the green.
Moral
Just goes to show you the past and present of generation now,
Can easily handle the future, seems they sure know how.