Maybe I'll live through this, but hang on I have done worse.

Red Neckin Computer

Hey Clyde, heard you tried out a computer with a keyboard screen,
Yeah Tom , craziest damn contraption that I’ve ever seen,

Guy from the store was nasty and he sure thought I was slow,
Kept saying I was gonna have to get up to speed to make this thing go,

Told him I got plenty of speed, beat everyone in the third grade cept my buddy Lee,
But, you see, he’s a big sixteen, and a whole year older than me,

Told him I ain’t no expert but I seen one of these before,
How do you make this thing open where’s the door,

He said ,this one don’t self open, I need a pass word, to get in it,
A name or something that I could remember and apply in just a minute,

Well, I thought about a lotta stuff, had to be something I could spell,
You know when I git past four letters in a word, it’s really, really hell,

I thought about that Open Sesame but I knew it wouldn’t do,
I couldn’t get the spellin right for one word, never, ever two,

Well he said if I use characters , I could go up to eleven,
But it had to be at least eight characters, and Snow White had only seven,

I finally almost named’em all, I reckon, some he’d never heard,
He was gittin a little heated , said my pass word, would be ‘pass word’,

Then he said , I needed a Pin to opt in, it’s required, you see,
He shook his head and looked real sad, I didn’t have one with me,

He moaned OK, I’ll input numbers, can you count up to four,
What an insult, of course! I can count to sixty five or more,

Didn’t need to learn a bunch of numbers. Don’t know where you been at,
When Social Security starts kickin in, you don’t need more than that,

I thought that feller was in trouble maybe having a fit,
He turned red a waving his arms , but finally got over it,

He said, there’s another feature, for you; it’s the main event,
It’ll understand your Pass word , even with your dumb accent,

You can say your secret pass word and it comes up you see,
I said I couldn’t do that Feller, someone just might hear me,

But Man that’s great, if it understands all the words I say,
How come I need this keyboard thing, it’s just in the way,

Said , well mister it’s not infallible, it’s just another tool,
It could lock up and cause you to really lose your cool,

Then I would probably cuss it out and flip it a birdie or two,
For that I don’t need much of anything, so take it back with you,

He held his head in both hands, then I heard what he was saying,
Why me Lord, Why me Lord? that computer guy was praying.