An amatuer effort to be sure please feel free to comment..
Spring grass turning green
a cool flame hearlds spring
continual cycles.
**************
Rapt with attention
hummingbird flutters just over
its sweet liquid lunch
**********
The clouds part briefly
reluctantly allowing
a view of sunny promise
************************
Listen to the birds
singing in the leafy trees
declaring "its mine!'
*************************
Please the Gods with incense
wafting prayers float up to heaven
arriving foggy.
**********************
The cat in the rain
cries to be let in quickly
her tail is quite wet.
******************
and lastly on spring love!!!
Lips moist with kisses
erotic touches burn the dark
stolen moments joy.
These are well done. While some do not follow the "traditional" pattern for haiku, they most certainly fall into that class.
What I especially like here is the chain of imagery and sensuality you create by posting them together...it is like little snapshots of season.
Reviewed by Adam Walsvik (Reader)
Reviewed on May 13, 2003
It's a perfect spring day here and I am celebrating also. So what am I doing inside for chrissake?!
check out my article on haiku (My Poetics #2)
for some really great websites on haiku--
the essense of haiku is the image that it leaves with the reader -- a kind of water coloured sketch. IMHO, you are trying to include too much ...
(message me if you want a furthe critique)
these are all good tries -- the best one, In My Humble Opinion, is the wet cat
thanks for sharing
john+
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
Reviewed on April 22, 2003
This are cute little verses, but I don't think all follow the 5-7-5 syllable rule for true haiku. Nonetheless, they are darn close and brilliant. I enjoyed reading each one. Bravo. I find it hard to get them right.
Explore the mystery of how nature makes unexpected gifts of creative wonders to an unsuspecting caregiver one late night and early morning in southeastern Georgia, USA.
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are they all to be in 5-7-5 form?
I loved them all, haiku can be a lot of fun
What I especially like here is the chain of imagery and sensuality you create by posting them together...it is like little snapshots of season.
Adam
Love, JC xoxoxo
Peg
for some really great websites on haiku--
the essense of haiku is the image that it leaves with the reader -- a kind of water coloured sketch. IMHO, you are trying to include too much ...
(message me if you want a furthe critique)
these are all good tries -- the best one, In My Humble Opinion, is the wet cat
thanks for sharing
john+