It’s fiction of course- If you have a friend like this , please don’t disown him- he really needs your support!

Home Life Not!

Dirty mirror? Reckon I ain’t too handsome, but I’m not a regular ol’geezer,
The wife say’s,I got my best glasses on, but I don’t see handsome there either,

Hey now, that’s an insult, I deserve a little respect,
She replied , I’m really, really trying , just how little, did you expect,

Woman, I’m the man of the house, you know what that’s gotta mean,
Yeah , you get to do the vacuuming, while I do the dust and clean,

Ok,Ok, but what about the garbage, ain’t that a job for you,
No and while you’re at it, take the litter box out to,

Gimme a break will you, I’m the fixit man,
You know in my spare time, I fix everything I can,

What about that broken screen door, does it need a part they gotta make?
No, I had to buy a pair Dear, I’m waitin for the other hinge to break,

What about that shower leak, it’s still dripping bad,
Yeah it weren’t the right o-ring, I used the old one that I had,

It don’t make a lotta difference, , remember , don’t you know,
We’re gonna get a new one, in two years or so,

Dear, the kids are home, no school today , they need to have some fun,
Maybe I’ll take ‘em shopping, if you can get the laundry done,

The schools today are awful, taking their cell phones is too stern,
Talking to their classmates is the only way to learn,

Little Johnny’s failing every class, home schooling will be next,
He hasn’t passed a single test since they won’t let him text,

Dear we’ve been too easy, these kids ain’t worth a dime,
Always on their e-phones playing games, it really is a crime,

Jeanie says her bedrooms crowded, do you know what she meant,
Dear, a fifty gallon trash bag won’t hardly make a dent,

Well her new beau is coming over , the one we haven’t met,
You cain’t expect her to clean her own room, she’s still in high school yet,

Maybe you could check it over and let me know what to do,
My back is really hurtin , so I’ll leave it up to you ,

Dear you ain’t seen it lately, makes no difference anyhow,
Cockroaches have took over and the mice are homeless now ,

Rat nest would be a compliment, is what I’d have to say,
Please Call the fire department, see if I can burn today,

Don’t joke please, wash the car for church ,you know clean is Godliness,
I don’t wanna be seen dead in yours, and mine is such a mess,

Moral of story

Some guys live for weekends, football games and beer,
I’m damn glad Monday morning, is finally gittin here!