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Tom E Leftwich

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Gone to the Doxies
by Tom E Leftwich → (All Poetry by Tom E Leftwich)
Friday, July 8, 2022    Rated "G" by the Author.
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If you own a dog, you’ll identify. I think I'm going to the dogs myself . For laughter only, no offence intended.


Poem Artwork



Gone to the Doxies,

Treated like a dog, I reckon that’s the latest,
I can tell you, sometimes it really ain’t the greatest,

My chance of gittin better is really kinda dim,
And I cain’t change my status, cause I’m one of them,

Now I’ll agree, I’m a doxie handsome trim and fit,
Best of show , don’t tell me , I already know I’m it!

Yes! I’ve got to bark , may be a gangster at the door,
Please don’t yell at me , I might pee upon your floor,

Sometimes, I get excited, when you come home you know,
I just cain’t contain my pleasure, I have to let it go,

While we’re on the subject, don’t be scoldin me,
How was I to know it was a phony plastic tree,

A shout of hazardous spill in the garden lane!
I only expressed a little , my bladder was in pain,

But here came big ugly with bucket and a mop,
My very small expression came to a screeching stop!

Pleasant wasn’t what he was, this guy was being wise,
Pampers for your poochie, but they weren’t my size,

Why you take me shopping?, I’m onto you ol’dude,
Some gals here at Wall Mart are almost in the nude,

Chatting up the girlies for a little fun and Laughter,
Maybe you forgot, it’s dog food, that we’re after,

Yeah, I see you’re gonna buy that smelly bone head stuff again,
To me it’s hazardous waste, you don’t know where it’s been,

The EPA should be checking all that dog food in a can,
At the top of their recommendation should be the wording ‘BAN”,

And those so called experts, would literally have a fit,
It’s not biodegradable not even a little bit,

And talk about nutritious, It is, if you are able ,
To lick off all the glue that plasters on the label,

You say that grocery shoppin is really awful tough,
It takes an expert like yourself to buy my eatin stuff,

Now, I ain’t pointin fingers, but dog food from the space age line,
The food and drug may recommend , but it ain’t for this K nine,

You say the wrong dog food can ruin my noonie nap ,
News flash Doll, on the couch, is really risky ,after eating all that crap,

Now if I was shopping, I’d buy the cheapest there’s no doubt,
Then you wouldn’t lose so much when you have to throw it out,

Maybe I should wonder if you’re offering steak to me,
In ancient times your dog was always first you see,

But it was not to honor him as trusting, bold, or brave,
If the food was poisoned ,ol Fido got the grave,

Slip me some of your good stuff, I promise I won’t rat ,
Grand ma then, will never know, why I’m gittin fat,

Health and happy goes together a Doxie needs the most,
A watering mouth of chicken or maybe rib eye roast,

It don’t take no three phase doctor or, doggie diet expert,
A little bit of what you eat and a lotta love don’t hurt,

My belly may be sagging and my rump a little wavy,
But there just ain’t nothing better than a shot of Grandma’s gravy,

Be careful when you cut that meat, be sure your hands are steady,
I love tender sirloin , Oh!, and wake me when it’s ready!


 

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 Reviews of "Gone to the Doxies"
Reviewed by E Phillips
Reviewed on July 10, 2022
A dog's life matched to your life is surely a good life
to both of you. Amen, brother Tom. Amen.

Reviewed by audrine max
Reviewed on July 9, 2022
thank you for the laughter you have gifted through this piece. i own 3 dogs so i keep giggling while i read. much enjoyed.

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on July 9, 2022
A lot of doxie wisdom. Are you sure you're not a dog? And you're right, bringing your dog along is a good chick magnet. Chuckled my way through.

Ron

Reviewed by T. Wignesan
Reviewed on July 9, 2022
Watch out, Tom, the big-time dog-food manufacturers would be after you for depriving them of good-ol easy money!!! I like that part at the Walmart...juicy nudes! A long read but worth every bit of it. Or was it after all a noon-day siesta dream of your doggie on the sofa???


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