How come salt water taffy doesn’t taste salty?

If chicken soup is Jewish Penicillin

Does that make oyster stew Gentile Viagra?

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away

Will a banana a day attract a nurse?

What’s the difference between nuts and crazy?

Nuts begin in an orchard and crazy begins in a nursery

Is it a coincidence that nothing rhymes with orange

Yet the fruit is the only one whose name is the same as its color?

Why is beer sold by the twelve pack when I only have ten digits?

If you beat an egg will it hold a grudge?

Is it a natural law that milk is measured in cups

But beer is consumed in pints?

The odds of finding my package of bologna in the refrigerator are inversely proportional to its expiration date.

If I find something growing in my refrigerator’s vegetable bin does that make me a farmer?

If vodka and cranberry constitute a cosmopolitan would crème’de cacao, and strawberries constitute a neopolitan?

Is a green apple a function of its color or the state of its ripeness?

How come cheese whiz isn’t called cheese butter?

How come peanut butter isn’t called peanut whiz?

If I take a whiz do I have to return it?

Why does slicing the cheese and cutting the cheese have different meanings?

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors