MAN EATING CHAIR

I sat down in my easy chair,

And leaned back in the seat.

I needed to relax,

And take a load off my feet.

It’s an old rocker/recliner,

Dilapidated and thread-bare.

My seat is beat,

It’s beyond repair.

It’s busted and broken,

And falling apart.

It belongs in the trash,

But I haven’t the heart.

It’s been a trusted friend,

But little did I know,

That chair would turn on me,

And become my foe.

I was starting to relax,

Sitting there in my chair,

When suddenly I found myself,

In a state of despair.

Shifting in my seat,

I knew I was trouble bound,

When from the depths of the chair,

Came an ominous sound.

 It started with a loud CRACK,

Followed by a BANG and a CLANG.

A spring sprung though the fabric,

Like some giant twisted fang.

The  chair reclined way back,

And then tipped to the right.

I was completely off center,

And in a terrible plight.

The seat gave way,

Like jaws out of control.

I was sinking fast,

And being swallowed whole.

I was sure the chair was cursed,

And I’d soon be dead.

It had me by the rear,

And I was in up to my head.

I was being eaten alive,

With no way to flee.

I was going under,

Sure it was the end of me.

I moved down through the chair,

As each spring gave way,

Then landed with a thud on the floor,

And that’s where I’d stay.

Lying in pieces around me,

The chair had met its demise.

It took me along for the ride,

But I alone had survived.

I was shaken and stunned,

Traumatized by this shocker.

It’s time to get a new chair,

Or I’m off my rocker.

Michael D. Schafer

© October 19, 2016