THE MAD MOONER

(A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT)

Citizens heed this warning,

The MAD MOONER is on the loose.

Quick as a wink, his pants are down,

And he shows you his caboose.

The MAD MOONER is out there,

Filling people with dread and fright.

He’s got lots of junk in his trunk,

And it’s not a pretty sight.

No one knows who he is,

Or who his next victim will be.

Every day he drops his drawers

And goes on a mooning spree

He’s made old women faint,

And children cry.

Seven men went blind,

And that’s no lie.

The police scratch their bottoms,

Trying to find this mooning maniac.

They’ve searched every derriere.

They’ve examined every crack.

They get behind every clue,

Looking for this backside malcontent.

They even brought in the butt hounds,

Hoping to pick up his scent.

So beware of the MAD MOONER,

Look away if his end is in sight.

Lock your windows and your doors,

There’s a full moon out tonight.

Michael D. Schafer

© September 10, 2014