BAD HABITS

I’m gross and disgusting,

With bad habits galore.

There’s too many to count,

I’m rotten to the core.

I’ll scratch myself in the front,

Then I’ll scratch my rear.

I’ll fart out loud in public,

Just to watch people disappear.

I’m a pig at the table.

I swallow with a slurp.

I’ll eat, drink, and eat,

And then belch and burp.

I’m a lazy slob.

I really hate to work.

I’ve been called an asshole.

And I’ve been called a jerk.

When it comes to women,

My true nature can’t be repressed.

It’s hard to look them in the eye,

When I’m staring at their chest.

Yes, I have bad habits,

But that’s according to plan.

I’m only gross and disgusting,

Because I’m a man!

Michael D. Schafer

© August 17, 2014