I believe you found all of the convenient phrases used to try to soften the blow of losing a regular money source regardless of how one performs on the job. I love your knack for humor of this type. I'm tempted to put this poem, including your name and copyright in an email to my friends and relatives. But not without your permission, of course. It's about to go viral.
My twin brother was either fired, or finished work on a contract for over 100 companies. Fortunately, as a "nitpicking--his own words" efficiency expert, he was readily rehired and continued his job of streamlining facilities and reducing the number of jobs needed to get the same work done.
He recounted to me that he was hired at the first of the year by company just as the company of consultants that he had worked for was disbanding. He was given a vice president position, ate lunch with the president and vice presidents, and even had a computer (a real perk in those days) on his desk. On April 1, April Fools' Day, the president dropped by his office and placed a pink slip on his desktop. It read, "You're Fired." Thinking that it was an April Fools joke, he laughed and inquired, "Is this real?" Unfortunately, it was.
An incredible and inventive amount of words to say the same thing, but it all boils down to "you're fired!" at the end. Very inventive Michael, you put all the pieces together.
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
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Love ya!
Jane
My twin brother was either fired, or finished work on a contract for over 100 companies. Fortunately, as a "nitpicking--his own words" efficiency expert, he was readily rehired and continued his job of streamlining facilities and reducing the number of jobs needed to get the same work done.
He recounted to me that he was hired at the first of the year by company just as the company of consultants that he had worked for was disbanding. He was given a vice president position, ate lunch with the president and vice presidents, and even had a computer (a real perk in those days) on his desk. On April 1, April Fools' Day, the president dropped by his office and placed a pink slip on his desktop. It read, "You're Fired." Thinking that it was an April Fools joke, he laughed and inquired, "Is this real?" Unfortunately, it was.
Ron
Stay well my friend, John Michael