YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT

He was a half hearted individual,

Who’d often go off half cocked.

It gave him hardening of the arteries,

Which are all half blocked.

He was a half pint in size,

Everything he did was left half done.

He often had half a notion,

But only had half the fun.

When he shows up to work,

He acts half dead.

Everyone thinks he’s half crazy,

Or at least half out of his head.

He usually ends up with half a loaf,

Because he’s usually only half awake.

He’s a half a bubble off plumb,

Half lit, half under, and half baked.

He runs around half naked,

At least half of the time.

He only takes half a chance,

Because he’s half past his prime.

He’s a real half wit,

With only half a brain.

He only tells half truths,

Which he can only half explain.

When it comes to half’s,

He thinks he’s unsurpassed.

But he doesn’t know the half of it,

The truth is he’s just half assed.

Michael D. Schafer

© April 29, 2019