Your poem evokes something a bit different for me. My father built QShips for the Royal Navy in WWI and Liberty Ships in WWII for the USA. He owned several small boats, but I never once saw or heard of him actually going out in any of them. And yet neither he nor my mother warned their sons about joining the Navy or going to sea, which both did. I've never thought that odd before. Thanks for the prod and light bulb (red lens, of course) ... fair winds and following seas, Gene.
Don't go near the water son.... conjures up images of a mothers' love and admonitions. It is true that for the most part it was children who did battle for us, and died for us, and were ruined for us. The great war saw a quarter of a million young lads perish on one stinking field. My minds ear hears them calling out weakly for their mothers touch, their mothers solace and their mothers love.
Thank you for this poem. Blessings J'nia
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
Reviewed on November 12, 2008
Indeed ,Amazing is so true...sighhhhhh..excellent as always sweet Gene..Hugsssss,much love too you ...
Gene you capture the moments because there are more than one within your poem, and while death is the inevitable it is sad that sailors find the depth of a black sea and the reflection of a Mother who only widhes for her sons safety. All of the reality of guns and ships fighting those wars are just that, as emotions sail along those waves...
Another strong, powerful poem that's so realistic I had to check to see if I had died, or was still here. We all hope we won't encounter such a violent death. One fateful moment caught in a poem. Good writing, Gene. --Kathy
Powerful, Gene. Like a slo-mo action shot. The whole of life flashing.... You take us there and into the deadly, deathly experience. This verisimilitude we can never forget. xx
The thing that sticks out to me in this poem is the singular phrase..."Son, don't go near the water" How often have mothers given similar warnings...given to keep their children safe, and yet... how often do those children not heed the warnings until it is too late. I know that wasn't the point of the poem, but as a mother to so many teenagers that are each stepping out in their own directions, that is where the poem took me... Leaving me with a melancholy feeling that I know I have to let go and let my children fight their own wars, all the while praying that they will survive their ordeals.
Heart wrenching write, Gene. You showed the inward and outward intensity of the moment. It is a sad statement about war, but one that has been told for thousands of years. ~ Sara
I like this one too, Gene, if "like" is the word. This poem is very noisy, as it should be, and I was wondering what you would think of, at the end -- where there is the womb -- of using an alliterative "silent sea" as a contrast (vs. black sea).....? Your leaving out of what's the word =-- articles (a, the,) ...is very Plathish. It makes it more stark. Taut, like a word you use in the poem: this poem is a poem and a photograph; also a sound-byte. I am there. The only thing that jarred me (I jar easily) was all the present tense and then "lungs frozen." And as we notice, it is mother that is mentioned more than once. I've always felt that if BOTH men and women carried children in their bellies, there would be no war. I know I'm opening a can of worms here, implying that women love their sons more than men do. But I do think there is a pride (ok, among both) when sons fight for the country, but I think society (or biology, as mentioned) tends for most of the "pride" to be the father's, most of the trepidation and fear the mother's. I just know I'm going to get in trouble here. I could be way off-base. i do not mean to man-bash. Also, I am not unpatriotic. I am just a pacifist who believes war is hell and, in the history of the human race still to be written, will prove to be very babyish, immature, absurd. Sort of like how we can now use computer modelling instead of vivisection (horrific experiments on animals).....Having read the reviews, I will now check out Regis' Sailor's Lullaby. I think the "son, don't go near the water" is a good line, because this could have been said at any time, when the soldier is any age. From the minute our children are born, or at least for me, that is when I first learned the smell of danger.
Sailer's Lament captures the smell of fear brought by being in a war. Although I was not in the navy, I did serve in Vietnam. Like this sailer remembered his mother's words to not go near the water, I too recalled my parents telling me to go to college instead of joining the Marines (I was in bootcamp when Vietnam arrived thanks to a morally corrupt President in the White House--sounds familiar!). For that reason, after I was out of the Marines in 1968, I went to college, the first and only member of my family to do so. I wonder, does it make it easier on a soldier or sailor to have fought in a righteous war like WWII compared to wars like Vietnam and Iraq? Are all wars the same or is there a difference? Is it better to die for your country or the profits of Big Oil or the political beliefs of neo-conservatives? Soldiers and sailors go to war because they are patriotic and believe in their country. What do our leaders believe in? Sorry, your poem pushed some of my PTSD buttons.
a powerfull tribute to the many, the brave, the dedicated the veterans of America -- even in the face of death with fear running rampant in their minds at the speed of light-- they did not relent --bless them everyone -- peace to you my dear friend on a very moving poem -- JMW
War is Hell, and you have captured this in your poem. I felt as if I was right there along with that sailor.
Very poignant and very well written, Gene
Peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
Gene
If you weren't there, you could prove you were with this
compelling poem! It is gut wrenching,and perfectly makes
the point you wanted it to!Let us nevr forget our veterans!
Bless you!
Love,
Eileen
Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis (Reader)
Reviewed on November 8, 2008
I echo John and Gerard's comments, Gene ~ this is writing that goes right to the readers' core.
Gene,
In this beautifully controlled poem, edgy, tightly phrased, taut and tense in feeling and reaction, too, you've given us a view of the moment of truth, the fear the near-miss world and at the end of life the wish to return to the security whence we came...if we have the chance to think about it.
John
Reviewed by Gerard Gauthier (Reader)
Reviewed on November 8, 2008
Gene I'm stuck on the first stanza of this poem especially “moon bright”...what a perfect phase, not light but bright exposed “five miles off shore”...with the simplest change you turn the romantic moon into to something to fear...yes I like that line “moon bright...five miles off shore”...you must have felt the same when you read it the first time...You must have laid your pen down after that line and said you know that's O.K....Great read Gene
Nothing more comforting than your mother's nightmare at a time like that...? I'm feeling new appreciation for John McCain just now. There are so many true heros among us. God bless our vets! --Charlie
Great anchor, Gene. Bittersweet words for yourself, and/or your buddies who did not make it back safely? May god bless you and your class of human being, who lives and dies so that others may be free.
Thank you so much Gene!
Rockie Coppolella
Shell shocked and water logged...the remnants of war. Polluted dreams and low crawls...Water is the oldest form of transportation - war is in its oldest form, too...shades of Martin Sheen as Captain Willard in Apocalypse now...Mick Jagger sings..."I Can't Get No...Satisfaction"...too bad life isn't all mango creme pudding and Rolling Stones, Gene...
Clearly, you have a special kinship with the sea, Gene. Your poem reminds me of one that I have posted here at AD entitled, "Sailor's Lullaby." Thank you for sharing your talent. Love and peace,
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Thank you for this poem. Blessings J'nia
Edwin
very nice work...
Art Sun...
Cryssa
it involves all of the senses and
the images you paint are very effective.
Axilea
Very poignant and very well written, Gene
Peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
If you weren't there, you could prove you were with this
compelling poem! It is gut wrenching,and perfectly makes
the point you wanted it to!Let us nevr forget our veterans!
Bless you!
Love,
Eileen
In this beautifully controlled poem, edgy, tightly phrased, taut and tense in feeling and reaction, too, you've given us a view of the moment of truth, the fear the near-miss world and at the end of life the wish to return to the security whence we came...if we have the chance to think about it.
John
Newfie hugs, Rose
Thank you so much Gene!
Rockie Coppolella
Love,
Sage
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Regis