I RIPPED MY PANTS

FOR TRINITY

First I heard a R-R-R-I-I-P,

And then I felt a draft.

Everyone standing behind me,

Either snickered or laughed.

It had to happen at school,

Surrounded by my friends.

I had ripped my pants,

And it was like torture that never ends.

Somehow I caught my pants on my locker,

And ripped a hole in the seat.

I blushed a bright crimson,

My face turned red as a beet.

It wasn’t cool that it happened at school,

And so early in the day.

Oh, the indignity of it all,

Knowing my rear was on display.

I was rescued by my grandmother,

Who took me home to change my clothes.

Then back to school I went,

Still feeling quite exposed.

It was a traumatic day to say the least,

One that left me horrified and aghast.

I’m just glad I had underwear on,

Or I would’ve been really em-bare-assed!

Michael D. Schafer

© December 18, 2019