This should have been posted on Sunday. For two days, Thursday and Friday I spent on a self imposed Retreat, within my own house. No TV or computer or communication with others, except when walking my dog and seeing other people out who started up a conversation. The time was spent in prayer, reflection, reading, quiet time, journaling. It was great, I felt so peaceful and refreshed. I had some great insights and knew I needed to be able to carry them forward into my daily life.
Then Saturday happened. My oh my! Woke at 6am to neighbors a few doors away who are renting (5 adults and 2 pit bull dogs in a small townhouse), the boyfriend who is living there also has an old pickup truck which is very loud, and every morning at this time he gets in his truck, revs it for about 5 minutes before he leaves. On the weekends they allow 3 or more other teenagers to stay overnight. One of those also has a very loud car and at 7am he came out and revved his car for about 5 minutes before leaving.
Later, I left for the grocery store. In the parking lot, just as I am in front of, about to pass one aisle on the left, a guy in a SUV just pulls out of that aisle almost ramming ME (the driver’s side) pulls alongside and immediately turns left into the next aisle! I want so much to say something to this guy, but can’t bring myself to go up to his car and say (in a nice way of course!) “Pardon me, but you almost rammed me.” I sometimes think I need to get like those little old ladies who carry an umbrella around and smack those people who push in front of them. (smile)
Walking into the store is a BIG sign saying “pardon the dust and we are remodeling!” Pardon the dust? What about the fact that everything is so completely rearranged, that you can’t find a thing? Of course prices going up and so now we are also paying them to “remodel” their displays and the entire store so that it will take several trips to the store and much longer while there in order to get familiar with where everything is located.
On the way home I stopped at Quick Trip which has just raised the price of gas another 10 cents overnight (40 cents more than 4 weeks ago). I have to go into the store section where they are also using our dollars to REMODEL the inside of their store…putting a new counter, basically the same thing on the other side of the store then going to rip out the old one to put the food and other products where the old one was. None of this is really necessary…but gosh they are making so much money off of us that I guess they need to spend it somewhere!
On the way out, as I start to back out of my space, after looking to see if the way is clear, another vehicle comes out of nowhere and almost hits me.
My insides are in turmoil and I have to find some peace before I take Bear for a walk, and before I go take care of six children tonight for five hours. Actually walking Bear and taking care of my friends children is always joyful.
Hmmmm! I wonder if the message here is that I need to become a hermit! Maybe I need a longer retreat time.
One day later…thinking about the six situations which made me feel agitated, gave pause to think.
Although it was people who presented the situations which caused me to be frustrated and the combinations filled my gut with various feelings of anger, agitation, and frustration as the biggies. I think now that it is not the individual people, but the situations that troubled me. Yet, I do feel that a great many people in this country have become so self-absorbed and forgot how to be courteous. I have to remember, that although I always try to be very courteous, I am sure there have been times when I wasn’t.
What troubled me most yesterday was that I had just come off this wonderful two day time of retreat from the world. It was an awesome time which brought me insight and peace. The biggest insight was a message I’ve heard and read many times in my life, that we are ONE body in Christ…God is IN all of us. The message was brought more fully into my soul, my Being through the reading of and reflection on the book “What God Wants” by Neale Donald Walsch. I remember and say “I am that person” when anyone annoys or upsets me. How many times in the past I have found myself doing or acting just like a person who’s actions or attitudes upset me.
And now thinking about this TRUTH, there is a positive side. If we do more of this…think we are that person, put ourselves in their shoes…we will change for the better and alter the world to a more peaceful and joyful place. People I respect such as my Brother, Maya Angelou, Oprah, Larry Thompson, Audrey Hepburn, and more…when I think about any of them I can say “I am (person’s name).” We ARE ALL ONE. I think about the good these people have done, or are doing. I am encouraged to do things which I admire in others, things which tug at my heart and/or am passionate about.
I am working on the “small stuff” my pet peeves which push my stress buttons. I have improved and find that those moments of stress or frustration pass much quicker.
