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Blogs by Laura Davis
The Horrible Monster of Pain 3/25/2008 10:46:30 AM
Arthritis is killing me I woke up today in extreme pain. I have arthritis and I've noticed that it has been getting worse, but today was excruciating! On Sunday, when I was in church, I noticed that my knees would start to buckle whenever I stood up during the service. Not good. I already use a cane and have for some years since a fall down a flight of stairs left me unable to walk unassisted. My doctors told me I would be in a wheelchair before I turned 60. At the time, I refused to accept that diagnosis and joined a fitness club and kept moving to ensure that I would be well past 60 before arthritis kept me down. I turned 50 two weeks ago and I have this horrible feeling that this invader in my body just might win.
On top of everything else, I'm overweight (which doesn't help), and it is harder on my joints. The problem I'm having is not with eating right (I barely eat at all), no the problem I have now is with moving. I want to exercise to get the weight off, but moving (walking, cycling, etc. any kind of movement) is so difficult that I have to use crutches just to be able to get around my house. Now, I ask you - how in the world does one defeat the horrible monster of pain? How do you get past it in order to do what you have to do? Pain meds? Already take them. Heat wraps? Ice wraps? Been there done that! Sheer willpower? I suppose that would work - if I bit on a bullet everyday for 24 hrs.
The answer for me is simple - there is no way to get past the pain. You live with it on a daily basis. You try to get used to it and adjust your lifestyle. You try to wrap your mind around the fact that you can't go for enjoyable walks in the park anymore, or even walk around the mall. You can't even clean your own house because doing so will cause you to spasm and be unable to move at all! Can I wrap my mind around that? I'm trying, but it is not something I like to give into. I've always been a spontaneous person, who likes to go out and enjoy life, I'm determined that I will not enjoy it from a wheelchair. But, I'm already 50 and if my doctors are right, within the next 10 years (maybe sooner) I will be in a wheelchair.
In all of this I am still very thankful to God. He has taught me that He is in control and I need to be dependent upon Him for everything. My faith in God gets me through each day and for the moment He has graciously stayed the dreaded arthritis monster from invading my fingers.
My favourite verse is Jeremiah 29:11, it says this:"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
God never promised that we would not suffer. In fact, He said we could count on it. But at least He knows the outcome of everything and I think that makes it a little easier to keep going, knowing that I have Him in my corner.
