THE EATING CONTEST

There’s nothing like an eating contest,

I ‘m hungry to compete.

My appetite gives me the edge,

I love to eat.

Last year I won a pastry eating contest,

Who could eat the most cream puffs?

Well, I creamed the competition,

They weren’t tough enough.

Then I went on to win big,

In a pie eating contest.

Slicing through the competition,

I was at my eating best.

I wear an oversize, baggy shirt,

With matching elastic pants.

When you’re in an eating contest,

There’s sure to be an expanse.

The most important rule in training,

Is be sure to clean your plate,

Because you never have to worry,

About making the weight.

A hot dog eating contest is coming up,

With hot dogs in a crepe.

I’m training hard every day,

And I’m rounding into shape.

I eat to win.

I’m inclined to dine.

Seat me at the trough,

Victory is mine.

Michael D. Schafer

© October 16, 2016