Limericks XVIII

A thief with most expensive taste
Burglarized jewellery with great haste
He ran off with the loot
But all of that was moot
When he saw it was all worthless paste
 
There’s a fellow who’s come from Hanoi
His great lack of manners annoy
He’s lewd and he’s crude
Truly a rude dude
And still he pretends to be coy
 
There once was a fellow named Jim
He disliked going to the gym
But his wife insisted
And though he resisted
Now one can hardly recognize him
 
I met a fine lady named Kate
I asked her out on a date
She said it would be fine
To meet her at nine
Now she’s late and I wait for my fate
 
There once was a man from Bombay
He bought a girlfriend on eBay
She was made of plastic
A bit too robotic
So he tossed her out in the bay
 
I met a fellow by the pier
He said that his name was Pierre
He seemed quite forlorn
Till I played my French horn
And he danced when I gave him a beer
 
I once met a gal named Danielle
She’s not one to kiss and then tell
Even though she’s the best
More adept than the rest
As she proved when she came out of her shell
 
I know a young lady named Jo
She has a dog named Cujo
If you start a fight
You will feel his bite
You’ll find out Cujo is Jo’s mojo
 
I've met this young lady named Crystal
Some say that she came from Bristol
She’s a no nonsense girl
She’ll leave you in a whirl
She always carries her pistol

There's a lad in this town named Marc
He likes to look after the park
He as strong as “El Toro”
And as brave as Zorro
Thus the park is safe after dark
 
 
© Copyright 2010    Regis Auffray