Since my wife deserted me, and our daughter, life has been a struggle. Each day we awake to face another day of pain at being rejected. I dream of her every night and in the morning my pillow is wet from my tears.

It is now four months since she left us. Four months of trying to speak to her, if only to arrange for our daughter to visit her, but to no avail. She has never contacted us for any reason or made a single contribution towards the care and health of her daughter.

She left of her own accord, influenced by the lifestyles of others, she called me boring, yet I am told that she insists that I forced her to leave. I begged her to stay, as did our child. But it is obvious that what she wanted was any excuse to leave and find a younger man.

I am tired of making excuses for her, covering for the rumours that have come back to me, whether they be true or false.

For 14 years I supported her in everything she did. For 14 years I cooked all her meals and the meals of her children. In those fourteen years I never once lifted my hand or voice in anger or critism against her or the children. We lived in an Alchohol free, drug free, violence free household. I did the washing three times a week, making sure that she and the children had clean clothes. If she wanted something I did my best to get it for her. I was never unfaithful or cheated on her. Whether she is cheating on me, I don't know and don't want to know. My stepson tells me she has a "Boyfriend." 

We are still Married and while this remains true, I refuse to be an Adulterer.

I have learned that the rewards for being Loving, Kind, Affectionate and Considerate are; Rejection, insults, lies or exagerations to justify her actions, and watching ones child suffer for being ignored, as her mother refuses to visit her, answer calls, emails or SMS, all for the welfare and health of her own child. As she purues her new life, she leaves us in limbo, with no dirrection or forseeable future goals to which we can aspire.

What does one say when a child says, "Mother dosen't like me anymore" or when she says "I will stab her in the eye, and her Boyfriend". She loves her Mother, but that is fast becoming a loseing battle, as she starts to be indifferent to her mothers existence, denying that she ever had a mother.

I only wish I knew how to get angry, how to Hate. But this is not my way. yet at times, I want to stand outside and scream.

My daughter tells me I am stupid because I still love my wife.

Maybe she is right?