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Predicament: Gift-Giving 3/28/2012 7:06:00 PM
Last Christmas, I received as gifts of three shirts, slippers and candies. Cool and swell that I received them without expecting them. I told everyone not to buy me any gifts if they were thinking about it. They could not expect anything from me so I should not expect anything from them. During the years, when those little kids (and they were many of them) were still little kids, I normally don’t have any gifts for them. What I do was throw away money. In the beginning I would throw coins but it grew to throwing out bills. Oh, the kids were all scrambling for them, were fighting over them. Some would follow me around the house. Some would sneak in my small satchel to see if they could snatch a few coins or bills. We would have a dancing contest and the winner gets a prize. But they must freeze when the music stops. But then, I would throw coins unto their feet and those not participating in the dance would scramble for the coins. It was so much fun and there was laughter reverberating everywhere.
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It was an era of prosperity. And even in this era, I did not demand any gifts. What was it for? I have all the things I could wish for: a nice home, all the clothes I could wish for, all the shoes I could wear, everything else in between and a very caring family to boot. There really was nothing else. My nieces were at a lost. What would they give their Uncle Paul? It was a dilemma indeed. I said that they could give me whatever they create and create well. Anything except buying the things we normally do for Christmas. So, they created Christmas cards first and then small, artwork. Making them seemed to be a good alternative. They are simple ones because they were too young to create something more sophisticated. A heart and a boy would appear as a scribble. They would draw with their crayolas. And I would appreciate these simple gifts more than anything else. But as they grew older, they gave me gifts that were more sophisticated not in the sense of construction, but sophisticated because the meaning becomes even more deep. A poem in a card with twigs in it was given to me by Lauren was the most recent example I can recall. The poem was haiku-like in its brevity but carries a deep meaning. Couple that with small flowers entwined with shredded twine made my day, the day I received them. Taylor showing me her artwork may not be a gift in itself, but the revelation of them in which I didn’t have a clue was a gift in itself. The film-making, the plays, the story-telling and watching movies together are all part of the repertory of things I consider as gifts.
As I grew older and I truly could not anymore afford to throw away money while they grew to adulthood, I knew that they understood what the true worth of gift giving was. Lauren, earning first her income as a nurse treated me to lunch at a Japanese restaurant. When I returned to the Bay Area, California, she treated me to her apartment and we, along with Taylor, had a good time that entire day. We ate at Ocean Beach, beachcomber, watch a movie in their apartment and ate dinner at a fancy restaurant along with Michael, Lauren’s fiancé.
There was no other gift that they can give but the gift of experience that I can treasure. Think about it! When you talk to each other, when one gives a diamond ring to you, what do you talk about, most? It was not about the diamond ring that you receive but the experience of receiving the diamond ring. How it was given, how it was received and how good it looks on your fingers? This experience includes who gave that to you and what it meant giving it to you.
Gift-giving had gone a long way since I first had my Christmas experience with my father and mother, and grandparents. But all through it, it was that gift of love and affection that was given. There was no condition for giving it; be it something to be experienced or the experience itself. Gift-giving is done in true love and affection.
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