I once met a sweet Swedish lass
She had a very fine ass
Even though it brayed
And its ears were frayed
At least it did not pass gas
There’s a gal in this town named Lee
She is always so full of glee
But one day she got sore
When she saw by the door
A bold and most unwelcome flea
A Norwegian girl from Oslo
Met a fellow whose name was Lazlo
It was love at first sight
But on their wedding night
Lazlo from Oslo was too slow
There once was a man on a jury
He wanted a verdict in a hurry
When the last chime had rung
The jury was hung
So he settled for a big bowl of curry
There once was a lad named Jerry
Who took a ride on the ferry
He thought he was tough
But when the seas got rough
He was anything but merry
A Norwegian gal from this town
Has been seen in a velvety gown
You may wonder why
I’ll tell you no lie
She has her sights set on the crown
There once was a fruitcake from Grandma
She sent it from Alabama
It was dry as dust
It tasted like rust
Each Christmas it came like bad karma
I once met a girl named Lorraine
She kept singing the same sad refrain
But she cheered right up
When she saw my pup
When it yapped she danced in the rain
A gal from Canadian Tire
Found herself in quite a mire
Too much work to be done
And no time for fun
She decided to take up the lyre
There once was a raker of leaves
She’d rather have been bringing in sheaves
She wept under a birch
Then she went to the church
Where she took shelter under the eaves
(Where she praised God under the eaves)
Travels to different countries in these , and I love reading about different countries. Believe me I love those Alabama fruitcakes, for real. Couldn't do Christmas without one.
Pity, poor Lazlo! His Giddy-Up apparently had all gotten up and gone. Grandma's fruitcake reminds me of many humorous stories regarding Christmas gifts Regis. Thanks for the laughs my dear friend. Love and peace to you. Jon Michael
You know my take on limericks but you wanted my review anyway lol.
I love the donkey pic the most!
This stanza I actually like:
I once met a girl named Lorraine
She kept singing the same sad refrain
But she cheered right up
When she saw my pup
When it yapped she danced in the rain
There's definitely something there and it really cheered me up. :)
In the third stanza the line "Lazlo from Oslo was too slow" really ruins the flow. Even though 'slow' is meant to rhyme with Oslo, and Lazlo when I read it it doesn't sound as a rhyme at all.
These are really cute Reg and hilariously funny too. Thank you for brightening up my day a little.
May the Lord Bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and walk by your side. With love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister Barbie.
Hans Christian Anderson would take a very fine view of these (Brothers) Grimm tales, Regis! I love how you manage to string them along a theme...
There once was a nudist from Sweden
who said she was Eve from New Eden
Bjorn said "That's swell!
So how could you tell
I've got here a snake that needs feedin?!"
I once went to South Dakota.
At Sheridan, the burros were wild as they oughta.
A white one so cute,
Gave me a toot.
And I high-tailed it out of her quota.
This is a good one Regis. I especially thought the beginning to be quite amusing. I had a good laugh to wake up. May God bless you every day of your life.
In regards to your 'Swedish Lass'
she may not have passed gass,
but she sure looked like she needed to floss,
and her tail always swatting flies,
must've meant she surely was the boss.
There once was a falla in Hagerstown
who woke up this morning wearing a frown
But I reall must say
that it brightened his day
when he read the poem from Regis Auffray
God bless,
Lew
After reading two poems that made me misty, you come along my friend. I love to read these limericks it took me out of the blue to a color bright. Thanks for sharing.
Regis, mon ami, you are TWISTED! LOL But o, these are so hilarious! LOVE them (and you)! Well done; c'est magnifique!
(((HUGS))) et amour, ton ami dans Texas, Karen Lynn. ;D
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)
Reviewed on October 15, 2010
I'm curious where the Scandanavian impetus came from. Very funny Regis, as per usual. Perfect Friday shot-in-the-arm, full-to-bursting with laugh serum.
Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.
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This was so funny! Thanks for the laugh.
Mary
"Giddy-Up" I Like This Allot Regis
Chilly-Why-Ack & You
Vickie
Peace,
Dayvid
Sheila
I love the donkey pic the most!
This stanza I actually like:
I once met a girl named Lorraine
She kept singing the same sad refrain
But she cheered right up
When she saw my pup
When it yapped she danced in the rain
There's definitely something there and it really cheered me up. :)
In the third stanza the line "Lazlo from Oslo was too slow" really ruins the flow. Even though 'slow' is meant to rhyme with Oslo, and Lazlo when I read it it doesn't sound as a rhyme at all.
Lena
May the Lord Bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and walk by your side. With love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister Barbie.
There once was a nudist from Sweden
who said she was Eve from New Eden
Bjorn said "That's swell!
So how could you tell
I've got here a snake that needs feedin?!"
At Sheridan, the burros were wild as they oughta.
A white one so cute,
Gave me a toot.
And I high-tailed it out of her quota.
Ron
nice work...
Daniel
I knew by the title this would be a limerick and wasn't disappointed a bit!! It made a dreary day happier!!
Love n' stuff,
Micki
gardez bien votre humour
afin de reussir tous les jours
Love Emile
hugs
Kathi
And so well structured.
came a shield, or Aegis -
as he did purport -
to earn some support -
and got it by - B' Jesus!
TK ...Peace!
Li
Be always safe,
Karen
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Chip Bergeron
she may not have passed gass,
but she sure looked like she needed to floss,
and her tail always swatting flies,
must've meant she surely was the boss.
Cheers,
Dan
Best Wishes,
Christine
who woke up this morning wearing a frown
But I reall must say
that it brightened his day
when he read the poem from Regis Auffray
God bless,
Lew
Namaste
Tony
fee
Take care,
Sherry
(((HUGS))) et amour, ton ami dans Texas, Karen Lynn. ;D
Love,
Eileen